Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
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