my sisters under your porch take her home
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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