I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
