Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
