return my video game
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize
