I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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