so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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