my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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