Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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