How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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