I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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