You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
