The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
