I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
