Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
