ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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