he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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