Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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