Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
