After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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