no, he came in my armpit
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
