You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
please come you make the beer taste better
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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