I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
