drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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