I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
