I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
