I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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