i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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