haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
