You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
