Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Randomize
