just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
so much tequila, so little girl.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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