We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
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