Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
