yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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