it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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