38 yer olds are good kisserssss
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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