dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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