Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
