She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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