You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
