Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
