I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
