Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
