Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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