I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize