my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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