You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize