Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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