Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
