one might say we're banned from that church
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
