i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
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Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
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Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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