ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
