addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
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