Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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