HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I showed him my bush... on skype.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
