It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
