I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Randomize
