Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
