You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize