I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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