If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
