Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
