Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Randomize