Its about making memories worth repressing
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
