Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
