he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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